Thank you, Asia series "Thank you, Humanities" (91 days left)

 "Thank you, Asia" series.  91 days left until we return to Wisconsin. 

Thank you, HKIS Humanities Department.

I wish everyone could say they enjoyed working with their colleagues.  I wish everyone could be with people who make them laugh and think and learn and grow.  I wish everyone had the opportunity to be with the amazing human beings in the Humanities Department at HKIS.  

These are the people that supported me in those first days of processing that my 14 year old now wanted to be called Adam.  Those were very rough first days as a mother of a transgender teen, and the women and men of the Humanities Department held a space for my shock and grief and pain.  They have collectively been this way for each other for as long as I know - in my experience, 7 years.

On any given day in our office space built for a department of 25, there could be quiet or lively conversation, banter, prank phone calls or rubber bands flying as easily as deep conversation about serious family matters.  Around the lunch table, I have enjoyed discussions about parenting, teaching, politics, politics, health and wellness, former students' successes, classic stories from the department -past, and more politics.

Over the years I have laughed until I cried both writing and performing the annual end-of-the-year skit. And more times than I can count, I have been told how to dress for some clan or group dress up competition at school.  

I know for a fact I am leaving a better teacher and a better human because of the good people in the Humanities Department at HKIS.  Thank you, all!

Dressed as Magnum P.I.

Dressed as the departing Chris Taylor (center)

The Wombies at Graduation

The wombies

Dressed as the Adams Family

Wombies at Graduation

Christmas gift exchange

Photos by Brenda Brayko © All rights reserved

Thank you, Asia "Kolkata" (92 days left)

 "Thank you, Asia series".  92 days left.  February 28, 2021 

Thank you, Kolkata, India.

Growing up I could never have imagined I would ever travel to Kolkata (Calcutta), India.  I grew up knowing about Mother Teresa and the Missionaries of Charity.  I had heard of The Mother House.  I had heard how she had served the poorest of the poor.  I knew these things, but I didn't know I would one day become a volunteer for the Missionaries of Charity myself.  This was truly one of the more transformational experiences I have had during our eleven years living as expats in Asia.

In March 2018 and March 2019 I had the privilege of chaperoning our school's service interim trip to Kolkata called "Children of Kolkata".  Along with about 16 students and one or two other chaperones upon each occasion, we spent one week working with service organizations in Kolkata.  The Missionaries of Charity service was the most challenging and eye opening for me.  

the HKIS female volunteers outside of the Mother House  

Photo Credit: © Brenda Brayko. All rights reserved.

Each morning we would meet at 7 AM at THE Mother House with the nuns who would provide a bread, banana, and milk tea breakfast, lead a few prayers and songs, and then dispatch us to various homes around the city which cared for the disabled, sick and dying who had been rescued from the streets.  The girls in our service group and I were dropped off at Shanti-Dan each day, which serves young girls to young women with mental health needs, CP, or blindness.  There, we learned how to care for the "girls", sing to them, walk with them, teach them English, do physical therapy with them or care for the facility by washing clothes by hand or hanging clothes on the line, folding clothes, or making up the cots.  Day in and day out the tasks are always the same, the routine for the girls is the same, but when you are new and don't speak the language knowing what to do and how to do it and even how to BE is quite a shock to the system.  

As volunteers you feel conflicted about your role in these strangers' lives. You see what you interpret to be lives of suffering, but you also understand love and compassion at a much deeper level than you have before.  You confront how fake or real you are living your own life.  You realize that a person's eyes really ARE the window to their soul.  You realize that every human being has worth and is worthy of love, comfort, and connection.  You love these beautiful souls, these beautiful girls dearly.  And then you feel ashamed when you walk past homeless person after homeless person still looking away, still unable to fully love them too.  It is a humbling and transformative experience.

Due to Covid-19 I have not had the opportunity to return to Kolkata these past two years.  I would be there right now, if things were "normal."  But the two weeks I volunteered at the Missionaries of Charity will continue to influence how I move through this life.  So, Thank you, Kolkata.  Thank you, Mother Teresa. Thank you, Shanti-Dan girls, for everything.

Thank you, Asia "Health Care" (93 days left)

 Feb. 27, 2021

Thank you, Health Care. 

In 2008 or 2009 we hosted an exchange student from Korea for one semester while we lived in Green Bay.  One day she was sick and needed a doctor and a prescription filled.  I remember her shock at the bills! I remember laughing at her sheer incredulity.  Not until living in Korea would I understand the vast differences between the American health care system and the National Health Insurance (NHI) in Korea.

Eye exam for 10,000 Won? (That's about $10.)  Impossible.  But I remember once taking Adam to an eye exam and, for some strange reason, walking out without paying.  The receptionist dashed after us.  When she finally caught up and explained what had happened, I returned to the front desk only to discover the bill for the exam was 10,000 Won - hardly worth chasing me down!

One spring in Korea Adam broke his arm.  At the hospital we saw the specialist, had a cast put on, and (if I recall) prepaid for a few follow up appointments, all for $300 USD.  Unbelievable.

With NHI coverage, prescription medication barely cost a thing.  The hospitals were clean, efficient, and professional.  We were always well cared for.  It didn't take long to be very thankful for our access to healthcare in Korea.

There was even a time when I had something quite strange happening in my leg - a numbness.  I was quite worried about it and so - with the help of friends - managed to find a remote clinic in the evening near closing time.  The doctor and assistant were alone and about to close up for the night but took me in, listened to my concerns (with a bit of help from charades), asked me to do this and do that and declared I had a pinched nerve that would likely work its way out in a day or two.  When I inquired how to pay, the doctor said - no need.

I can't even begin to tell you how much we have used the health care system in Korea.  A lot!  And we were always well cared for.  In fact, before leaving Korea for good, Adam and I visited the Seoul National University Bundang Hospital to say "good bye" because it was such a big part of our lives by then.  We had gotten to know the hospital-provided translator quite well as she had accompanied us to appointments about three times per week in our final months there. 

my actual "goodbye picture" of SNUH

In Hong Kong the health care system is a bit different.  There are really two systems here, the private and the public.  Expats tend to use the private system which is more efficient and perceived to be higher quality (although I don't know about that).  For the most part we have used the private system, which means we have paid quite a lot of money out of pocket for health care and mental health care before arriving at our paid deductible.  Having said that, there were two occasions when we needed to use emergency services and used the public system. Each time we were amazed when all we needed to pay was 100 HKD, essentially $12 USD.  

A friend of mine had her first child using the public system in Hong Kong and paid with her Octopus Card - generally used to buy groceries or pay for public transportation.  It cost 5000 HKD to pay out of pocket for the entire cost of the birth, about $650 USD. 

And so, as we soon return to the US and the US health care system,  I am truly grateful to all of the healthcare workers we have met along our journey.  And I am grateful for the healthcare systems we have had access to in Asia. 

Thank you, Asia "North Korean Refugees" (95 days left)

 One of the more meaningful things I have done in my life was teach English to the North Korean Women Refugees at a non-disclosed location in South Korea.  This is something only a few people get to experience.  

From 2012-14 I was a church member at a Christian church in Seoul which paired native English speakers with Korean translators.  Our church was the only religious organization that the South Korean government would allow to partner with this center. 

Once every few weeks a group of 4 - 6 of us would pile into a van on a Tuesday night then drive more than an hour to the rural and secret location of the Refugee center for women.  There, for about an hour, we would teach simple English lessons like counting, animals, days of the week, or polite conversation, then drive back home, arriving about 9:30 pm.  

A reunion of teachers and graduates from the refugee center

We taught about 20 - 30 ladies each time. Together we did a lot of singing, some dancing, and some hugging or hand holding.  One day I was even asked to sign autographs.  We talked about God's love for them.  We sang about the freedom of the soul.  

The refugee women had lived through hell prior to their arrival as refugees.  And during their 6-week orientation to life in South Korea, they were relearning everything, including that Americans weren't the enemy.  I never expected their faces to be so joyful and bright.  I couldn't have expected them to be so thankful for everything we offered.  And I hadn't imagined I would appear so tall!

While I never got to know individual lady's stories, our group would often discuss the plight of the North Koreans while on our travels to and from the Refugee Center, often eating Korean street food (mandu, pork bbq buns, or kimbab) on the way.  We would also talk openly about our own cultures, be they American, Canadian or South Korean.  My fellow teachers and translators gifted me with an understanding of both North and South Korean culture that I would not otherwise have ever learned.  

After only two years of teaching there, our family decided to leave Seoul and move to Hong Kong.  Leaving this volunteer program left a big hole in my heart.  That hole has since become a great pool of gratitude for having had the opportunity to serve such amazing, courageous women. 

Thank you, Asia "Soul Sisters" (96 days left)

 "Thank you, Asia" series.  96 days left. February 24, 2021.

Thank you, Asia, for bringing me my soul sisters.  I could not have found these ladies without living exactly where I do and when I do.  

What is a soul sister?  These are the ones to whom you speak your truth.  They don't judge you.  They don't fix you.  But they offer their unconditional love and support.  

I am blessed to have found soul sisters on both sides of the planet.  In some cases, our friendship goes back decades miraculously deepening even while I have resided thousands of miles away.  

In other cases I was blessed with beautiful synchronicities which included where I sit at my office, a special guest appearance, an earnest follow up conversation, resulting in an unlikely friendship, and then another and another and another. The next thing I knew, I was on a weekly Power of 8 Zoom call with more soul sisters. Together, we send out intentions out to the ethers and wait expectantly for the miracles to unfold.  And they do.  

Without Asia, I don't know that I would have taken such a deep dive into the nature of spirituality or come to know myself as a spiritual being the way I do today.  These ladies, without fail, honor that aspect of me which is beyond Brenda.  What a gift I have received.  

Thank you, Asia "Students" (94 days left)

 "Thank you, Asia" series. 94 days left.

How could I go any longer before thanking Asia for my amazing experiences teaching high schoolers? Truthfully, I was feeling rather burned out by the time we left Green Bay in June 2010.  At that time I had been the IB Coordinator while also teaching 3 sections of grade 9 English (90 students).  I was exhausted and looking for greater balance.

Teaching in Korea was a breath of fresh air.  My students in Korea were kind, bright, funny, well-behaved, and very tired!  They challenged me to be at the top of my game with how and what I could teach.  Classroom management issues disappeared overnight; it was all about connecting with kids and teaching my subject well.  I had a blast.  I grew.  I fine-tuned my craft.

That first year at KIS brought the balance I had been dreaming of.  I was full-time with only four classes and under 60 students to teach!  I took on AP Literature - a college level course - for the first time (and continued to this day).  I am fairly certain that first group of students taught me more about "close reading and analysis" than I taught them.  I loved that group so much.  Additionally, I took on the Speech and Debate Club, something I knew well.  Again, the students were amazing leaders and learners, sending some students on to represent Korea at international competitions.

These trends didn't change when, four years later, I began teaching at HKIS.  Here, the students were more awake, more spirited, more. . . Westernized.  But they were and are just as spectacular, interesting, kind, and driven.  Perhaps they are more creative; certainly the student body is more international in nature than KIS.  Here, I continued working with public speaking as I coached Forensics for the last seven years.  For much of that time, I had the great pleasure of traveling with the team to China and Malaysia.  Recently, our team participated in an online Forensics Festival organized out of Amman, Jordan. What a blast (even on Zoom)!

Teaching has truly been a joy in Asia.  I have been entirely spoiled.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the hundreds of students with whom I have had the pleasure to know. 

Thank you, Asia "Korean cuisine" (98 days left)

 Thank you, Asia series.  98 days left.

Kimchi.  Kimbab.  Korean BBQ.  Bibimbab. . . Korean cuisines.  Without living in Korea for four years, I would never have known these foods that I now can say I totally enjoy.  (These and many cuisines from around the world. . . perhaps another day's post?)  

I remember specifically sitting in the teacher's lounge in 2010 at Notre Dame Academy prior to leaving for our grand adventure abroad to South Korea.  I remember my colleague Chris learning of the coming moving and asking me, "Do you like kimchi?"   I had never even heard of kimchi!  "I don't know," I said.  "I've never had it."  As I recall, within the next week Chris brought some kimchi to lunch and let me smell and taste it.  It didn't seem like anything I was interested in.  What would Korean cuisine be like, I wondered.

Well, little did I know that I would come to crave kimchi - the fermented and spicy cabbages of Korea that come in as many varieties as homemade apple pie.  There is even an entire museum in Seoul devoted to kimchi.  

Freshly made kimbab (much like a California roll) at a tiny shop window - my favorite being the tuna type, is a nice lunch all by itself.  We once were in a cooking contest where we were charged with making the best kimbab.  I lost.   (Alas, I won't be recreating amazing kimbab back in Wisconsin.)

Korean barbeque - What can I say?  You sit around an indoor grill, cut up thinly sliced beef, pork, or even duck with a scissors, along with cloves of garlic.  Grill the meat, then create a tiny "lettuce wrap" using large lettuce leaves to protect the bite size meat sprinkled with rock salt, and dabbed with ssamjang paste. Maybe add some steamed rice.  But the best part is the 1000 side dishes that come with the meal.  

Bibimbap is my go-to now if I see a Korean restaurant anywhere else.  This dish comes with a spicy paste so you can choose whether or not you want it mild or super spicy.  I go for the spicy!  I even astounded an American stewardess once choosing to use it on my plane food of bibimbap.